BonesColdSkinnySnowFatSomeone.

Last night was interesting: My day began at 8am, I decided to have a bowl of cherios with some sugar, not too bad. But then my mother decides we should go to McDonalds around 10-11am, I had 3 pancakes, plain. Then an hour or two later we arrived at the Museum. We met up with my Aunt and her new boyfriend and his son (who is so adorable) We walked around for 2-3hours, I snuck of once to snort some blue powder stuff. (not much got paranoid) made things somewhat more interesting not by much though. Then we left and decided to go to "Dave and Busters" I had a veggie burger, and like 2-3 fries. I walked around quite a bit there too.

While there I had gotten the idea to see if I could sleep over at Kaylieghs, well Kayleigh was all for it, but she was staying at her boyfriends house and Jessica was there too, with her boyfriend. They didn't mind if I came, my mom said yeah, and well Rob decides to go to Cabelas, he says I just need "ONE" thing. Like an hour and thirty minutes later we leave, I was so angry : ( But me and my little sister did go off and have a little adventure there (I wore my panda hat) We walked around meowing, and discovered they had elevators! We used both of them, (theres two on each end) After we left there it took like an hour to get to town, and we stopped at Wal Mart fist, then they finally dropped me off at BK to meet up with Kayleigh and Jessica, We walked around a bit, bought some smokes, walked to her BF's house and hung out for a bit talking and stuff, occationally going out for a smoke. After awhile Jessica wants to teach me how to kiss, and so me her and kayleigh go to the bedroom, and we snort the rest of the blue powder(didn't have that much effect, but there was a pretty good high, they totally over exagerated and lied a shit ton, it was epic, i didn't say anything though) And then she made out with me -awkward- and she wanted to teach me how to french kiss, but I started laughing when she started putting her tongue in my mouth, xD I was like omg ahahaxD Then Jessica and Kayleigh made out hard core (there dateing secretly, haha kinda weird cause there boyfriends where in the living room down the hall..) well yeah we watched some movies, and Jessica and her bf disapeared i was stuck in a freakin corner, no blanket, it was cold as fuck. Stayed there till 5am, then Jessica saved me from boredom and me, her and her bf went out for a smoke, she went for a short walk and me and him had another cig, but we swaped (he had newports i had marlboro red) and well lets just say never smoke a newport after having marlboro reds or the other way around it gets you really sick, I got in the house and pretty much passed out, my mom called around 7ish thank god cause my alarm didn't go off, and my sister came and got me at like 8:30am, we got some chips and diet soda and smoked a cigarette before returning home, and I weighed myself, hehe yay! Not too bad of a weight, and the chips were 310 in a bag, and i had the whole bag (small bag) and i'm for sure walkin around at noonish with tiff.

I accidentally somewhat broke my phone... like it just has a glitch thing on the screen not too bad.

Oh, I never really got why people try to take credit for thinspo pictures they find... Like I will honestly say the majority of the thinspo I post on my blog are found on various other profiles. I don't like "take credit" for them, nobody should. There pictures, the only people who should take "credit" If anything is the person IN the photo. I don't post pictures on here for other people.. Like yes other people see it, but it's mostly for myself, and half of it is not thinspo, just pictures I find beautiful. I am not promoting eating disorders, or wanting others to have it. Cause I don't.

Something interestingly hilarious: When I first got to Jessica and Kayleigh and we started walking to Roberts house to get the cigarettes, Kayleigh asks me a curious question, "Are you really Anorexic? A lot of people have been telling me you are." What the fuck.... Why! How? Apparently it's mostly guys... How has this happened? How are random people knowing this? I mean i'm not technically "Anorexic" but still... This is really strange. I don't go around telling people Oh yeah didja know I have an eating disorder? Oh you hadn't? Well you do know go tell the world! She wouldn't tell me who told her, she obviously has to know, if she's saying a lot of people have been bringing it up... >.> This is stupid. I'm not even skinny, not even close. How could anyone even think that.

Weight: 132

Sorry!

I've not been on in a long while, got grounded for telling my mom I was sick of always getting stuck watching the kids. I sorta went overboard. So no computer/phone/tv for awhile (started monday) My lap top still had a full battery so i'm sneaking on now to update and stuff.

Weight is the same pretty much, not much has been going on at all. School is okay, This week theres been one 2 hour late start, and one early dismissal, after 2nd hour. and today i stayed home. Spent the day sewing sleaves on this dress a friend of mine gave me. i'm not sure if i'll look good in it.... probibly not. This saturday i'm going to the museum with my mom, bobbie, my aunt and possibly her boyfriend. It seems somewhat exciting but I don't know... At least it's good exercise.

Bleh, i'm so paranoid... I want to keep writing but i'm scared someones gunna hear me typing or come in without me having time to hide it.

I've had a total of 2 cigarettes in like the past forever. it's kinda odd. i'm somewhat quiting. Its too much money, geez, but then it's so enjoyable.

weight: 134

(she's adorable)

BonesBonesLovelyLittleBones.

I'm not sure if I will gain weight or not,

Breakfast-pancakes (240ish)

-Did 2 miles on the bike machine

Snack1-had a banana, and an apple. after breakfast.

Lunch- none?

Snack2-Some chips, and dip, not too much though less then 300 for sure, maybe 150-250ish?

Dinner-1 veggie burger, veggies, and a salad.

I've been drinking water, and I know I didn't go as overboard as yesterday, and I only gained 1 pound. (could have been much much worse. Bleh, I really hate my hair. I don't know why I cut it short I know I hate short hair! So why? I want to grow it out, really long. So it's like down to my elbows. I think long hair is pretty, so maybe it will make me somewhat pretty-ish? Who knows xD Well today I watched the daycare kid Karlyn, while my mom and Rob went shopping for groceries, and April left for the whole day/night. Bobbie stayed home with me but she was being an evil little sister like always and I told her to go to her room. It wasn't to bad I guess, it just really annoys me when my mom always makes me watch her.

God... Wyatt is being odd. Like I know it's my fault, I need to learn how to be open. I sorta put something about it being valentines month soon, and how that is depressing. Which it is, really. And he was like blah blah, you don't mean to tell me you acctually want a box of chocolates or those candies that say "call me" or "Ur kute" cause I know you don't like talking on the phone. (not exact wording but close) and well I was like no... and he's like then why is it depressing, and I said nothing. Like forget about it you know? And he got mad at me.... And we stopped talking for the night...

I'm freaking stupid, I should be more open with people like him. But instead i'm not and I ruin everything. No wonder i'm all alone. >.> Seriously now I understand why Cody stoped liking me.

Sorry, deaths, and selfishness.

Okay, so I just logged in after awhile, I didn't really come on much recently i've kinda been down.

I got a mass message from a "friend" on here, and well apparently her friend died, and only one person had commented on her post about that, so she tweaked out and said we all only care about ourselves. I feel kind of bad, you know? But like... If I would have been on reguarily I could have said something to her, to help. But I wasn't and now she thinks i'm selfish.... But are we not all selfish here? In a way we are. Everyone. She herself didn't comment on my post about my friend dieing, but like, not everyone can read everything. If she would have just given it time... At least out of it she got out of the 150s.

"i'm shutting my site down. i hope all of you get a grip on reality cause its REAL and its HAPPENING and LIFE IS TOO SHORT to be obsessed with self image. JUST FUCKING LIVE. "

-Her

I guess I can never really say sorry to her, but if she ever does come back, I guess i'd like to tell her that i'm sorry for her loss, death is hard on everyone, people are there for her, i'm sure. At least it seems as though she's going to stop obsessing over her weight, that's a good thing. I hope she is okay. :(

R.I.P. Breanne, <3

Me and Alyssa have decided to go to California, instead of New York, it will be cheeper. and there is a Disney Land there! <3 And Hollywood, ect. Oh the excitement this will be. I'm so excited. We've got all this time to plan. 3 years for me, 2 for her, i'm not sure what she will do when she's graduated concidering i'll still be living at home, with my mother for another year.

Hehe, I know i'm planning a lot ahead, you may be like "Gee, that's so far away, you'll probibly never do that" Well I will....

I was talking to my friend Wyatt, and I told him about my plan, he thought it was funny. Because i'm planning so far ahead, but really... I need to. Money is tough, I won't have a lot of money when I first leave home, if I don't plan now. I don't want to stay with my mom and step dad after i've graduated, what's the joy in that? I want to go, leave, maybe i'll stay for a month or a few weeks tops. But I really want to do something with my life, and I know I can't do that without money, and if I start saving up now, and planning things out (somewhat) I should be able to have enough saved up to keep us on our feet for a few months, because if we don't go there prepared we could end up real short on money, or something.

But i'm so excited! Like bleh, I feel retarded. But really i'm excited. ^-^ I cannot wait. Now to start lovin school and getting good grades so i'll for sure graduate! ^_^

Now to find a job, hmmmm. -thinks- Nope no clue, xD Maybe I will try to convince my mom to let me work for her, like acctually do darecare for her sometimes, and get paid like an acctual worker, cause lately she's been making me do it on short notice and I can't really say no or she will get mad, and she always takes her time doing what she's doing. So I might as well try to get paid.

Today isn't going to bad, well okay maybe it is. This morning at around 5 I had a bowl of cereal. Then I had oatmeal (200 cals.) for lunch around 10-11. Oh and around 6-7am I did 2 miles on the bike machine. My mother decides she wants pizza for lunch, so I had half a pizza of cheese, but thank god it was the small tiny ones(320) icky, and then my mom made me have a slice of hers, with all the meet taken off, she did originally give me two but I gave the other slice to April. I also cleaned the whole downstairs before working out on the bike. I need to only drink ice water today, xD Or else i'm dooomed, I also took 4 of my sisters laxative medicine pills last night. I may also go for a walk later tonight.

Weight: 134

IWantWings.

I want to travel, that much is really clear : )

So i've made a plan, >=) and this consists of no more spending my money, i've got around 40 dollars from added up chore money, that i'll be paid soon, and then my sister is finally going to pay me back the money she owes me, and i'm taking back saying she only has to pay me 35, and do the original 40-45. Because it's been forever. And then i've got like 21 dollars in my savings account (lame I know, xD I had like 40 something but apparently I spent it on something, which I really doubt concidering I never take money out of that, and rarely put money in) Hehe! I'm so excited, and then i'm getting my permit soon, and then awhile after that i'll get my license, then I can drive and acctually get a job, concidering there really isn't any job options here in this town, although I just realized something, I could see if my moms friend wants help with her daycare! That would be a fun passtime, I love cleaning and helping people so it'd be perfect, i'm going to ask. : ) I want to save up bunches for when i'm 18, then I can just leave, after graduation of course, and get Alyssa, and then since she's close to Florida I think we'll do our planned trip to Disney World, or whichever Disney place is down there. : ) and then head to either Canada or straight to New York, depending on wether or not my friend Alexis is going to drive herself down here or if we have to pick her up, hopefully it's her driving here, because it'd be less money for us. xD The off to find a cheap home that we can all share rent on and an affordable college! and of course find jobs, der. Probibly wont be as easy as writing it down, but then what is easy these days?

(All pictures were found thanks to breatheeeasyy)